Ok, when did the rules for driving change?

I've had my drivers license for about 30 years and consider myself a good driver (most of the time anyhow ;).  I use my turn signal when I think of it, I drive at a steady pace, I text only when there is enough stopping distance and I always use my in car blue tooth - love, love, love that feature.

Lately however, I've noticed more and more drivers using "new" driving rules that, well, just piss me off. When did the stopping distance at a red light go from 1/2 a car length to 2 - 2 & 1/2 car lengths? I'm at the light behind these cars trying to get in the left hand turn lane needing only another 16 inches to clear the curb and the rear bumper of the car in front of me to get by and make my turn, but for some reason at least two cars in the line decided to leave this "extra" space - Why? I dunno, in case the space shuttle needed to make an emergency landing? Surely this has had to happen to them at one point in time.  Move up! other people can patiently wait 30 seconds  'til the light changes, but not me. I got a life to lead Cha Cha!

Left lane hangers "LLH's" - We all hate these people (Unless they are good looking).  The LLH's drive in the fast lane on the expressway not going any faster than the cars in the middle and right lanes.  They are tooling along watching car after car go around them to the right, but still remain in that lane, oblivious and happy as a clam.  I've noticed they are usually one of 3 stereotypes. 1) Confused elderly in a minivan with a metal fish on the bumper 2) minorities driving a beat up Honda with no shocks, miss matched paint and of course "low riding" in the drivers seat or 3) trailer trash females talking on their prepaid cell phone (I notice this more in ATL than any other city). We all do the same thing when we come up on these "drivers." We ride their bumper for a bit to see if they get a clue and slide over, then pass them at the first opportunity just waiting to shoot them a condescending look of disgust.  As we pull close we get ready to flash that look and then realize "hey, she's good looking" - all is forgiving "call me."  If you don't know what I'm talking about and have never experienced this....then, yeah, hang up the prepaid cell phone and move to the right.

Finally, there is the traffic jam flasher.  If you've ever been on I-4 between Lakeland and Kissimmee during attraction season, then you may have seen this driver. This is the driver who comes up behind you in bumper to bumper freeway traffic and flashes his high beams to signal you out of his way because he wants to go faster than you are going.  This is the most interesting driving behavior because when you come over the crest of a hill, you can clearly see that's it's bumper to bumper for miles.  Where does this guy think he is going? Is he really that self centered that he thinks he is going to systematically move thousands of cars out of his way to gain some sort of time advantage? This may work for the LLH's in open road, but not here.  The way I see it, you have one of three moves. 1) Ignore the guy and stay where you are, 2) move over and then slide in behind him and do the same for the next few miles (most people do this and surely it would clue him in to what an ass he is being - doubtful) or 3) and this is my personal preference, slightly tap your brakes in sequence with his high beam flashes - kinda like Morse Code between you.  It's just as childish and accomplishes absolutely nothing.

Anyone got any others?

How your airline baggage relates to your psychological issues

Who needs a psychologist when how you pack for a short airplane trip can tell you all you need to know about who you are? As I watched passengers board my flight to LA last week, I realized there had to be a direct correlation with how people packed their bags and their personal, psychological traits. Here is what I saw.

There were four types of "packers"

1) Those who only carried a small backpack that fit under the seat in front of them.  You've had no life experience and need to get out more.  You were younger and probably on Adderall.  Someday you'll have more baggage. 

2) Those who carried a small backpack that fit under the seat in front of them and an efficiently packed roller bag that will undoubtedly fit in the overhead.  You may be a bit anal, but you'll be fine.

3) Those who carried TWO small bags AND an over-packed suitcase that can't possibly fit in the overhead, but you try. You push, you shove and you adjust and then look around in disbelief and confusion when the bin won't close. You my friend are clearly in denial. It won't fit. Admit it and let go. 

4) Those who have packed one huge bag and checked it through to your final destination.  You boarded with a magazine and a bag of twizzlers.  You've been through a lot and are not afraid to embrace it. You've had your meds and your therapy and are okay with who you are.  I say good for you.


Thank you Martine for your contribution to this drunken rant. :)